Blast O' Joy

How I Unwind and Lose My Stress

As I delve deeper and deeper into this journey to move people to express themselves, I seem to have a tighter and tighter knot of thought and worry in my gut. I can feel it when I meditate; I can feel it creeping up on me in the middle of the night.

So I've taken aggressive measures to keep the stress beast at bay. I've been down the stress-induced illness road once already in life and I'm not interested in going there again.

So for those who might be trying cram a lot in, here are a few tips on how to unwind totally and completely:

1. The hot bath. For me, this is nirvana. Sometimes I even indulgently take two in one day if I'm really going at full tilt - and this picture is the general idea. (That's not me by the way. :) If I want to go really wild, I light some candles. And I always turn off the phone, shut down my email, and close the door to my office. That feels gooooooood. I also use Zum Bars, really indulgent soaps made out of goat's milk that I buy through my health food store that smell UNBELIEVABLY good. They're also sold online.

2. Candles. As demonstrated in the picture above, there's something inherently healing about candles. My favorites come from Zena Moon, a handmade candle company in Washington State run by the highly creative Carla Blazek (I love this woman!) Carla made a special candle for me that's shown here - my Coming Out of Hiding Candle. It smells like freesia and mint and it gives me power… I burn it all day long at my computer. Other favorites are 'Screw Perfection' and sex-o-rama (!) Then there's 'Little Miss Pissy Pants' in sage and pomegranate. Nothing like an irreverent, totally fun candle to light your mood. I burn 'em anywhere I need the recharge.

3. Regular Massages. I've fought this notion for years, feeling that a regular massage is way too indulgent. But I'm seeing what it cost me. (My previously mentioned stress-related illness could have been entirely avoided with regular massage.) So I see Courtney, the local masseuse, every three weeks … and it makes a major difference.

4. Mental Training. There are lots of ways to get our roving minds under control. I'm doing Dr. Jill Ammon-Wexler's Millionaire Mindset training right now, and it's forcing me to spend enough time in 'alpha' state that I can feel myself re-grounding and getting into a more creative, relaxed frame of mind in general. To learn more about mental retraining, take a listen to an interview I did with Dr. Jill recently about brain states.

5. A Good Sweaty Work Out. There is simply nothing that takes me back to zero faster … so I save this for my end-of-day meltdown. It's a lot more effective than a glass of wine, once you get going with a regular program. And it's a whole lot healthier. I have energy that I haven't had for twenty years because I'm doing three sweaty 45-minute workouts per week, plus attending a single Bikram yoga class per week. (That's a MAJOR sweat-fest.) Added perc: Once you get home .. if you still want that glass of wine, you can REALLY justify it!

That's it for now. How to you lose your stress?

Dealing with the Cosmic Splat, Part 2

Regarding your 'cosmic splat' and all those helpful signs of the universe (see my last post) … here are a few more thoughts.

So what's the other side of this? Yes, there are often signs that those obstacles you think you're running into are only your mind, doing it's ol' Dance of Resistance. Here are some obvious clues.

1. The problem is familiar. It may be that you suddenly run out of money for your project, or you find yourself getting sick. Somehow, this is what always happens when you aim for the exciting unknown. I used to get sore throats before I performed all the time … mainly because I hadn't yet given myself permission to be a big, gutsy, great singer. This 'same-old-same-old' would NOT qualify as a sign from the Universe to change course.

2. There's a sense of straining or uncertainty to the signal. You get a signal, but it's just not clear somehow. Instead, it's mushy and uncertain. It could be a signal … but somehow, it's not. Notice that this 'signal' seems to mesh nicely with your rampant fear at moving forward, or your innate aversion to taking risks. Not a sign … just a wave of fear.

3. You're missing key pieces of dream infrastructure. You need the essentials first: support, organization tools, a balanced financial set up, regular dream time. Remember that without these key pieces, no dream can move on as scheduled. First, put your house in order … then build the dream.

4. The obstacle is around a particular weakness of yours. Could be this is just one of those good old growth opportunities; so instead of running, embrace it, baby! We all have our Achilles Heel, and there isn't a dream out there that doesn't occasionally demand better of you. Carpe Diem!

Want to reprint this article? Drop my VA Lorraine Carol a line at lorraine@howmuchjoy.com for permission. (All I ask is that you run it with a bio box at the end which she will provide.)

Dealing with the Cosmic Splat, Part 1

I've often harped in my work about how guided our dreams are, and how all you have to do is tune in to 'get the message' on what to do next. That said, what do you do when the Universe seems to be sending you mixed signals … i.e. things don't go exactly as you'd planned, or fiascoes happen. Should you abandon your project or change it significantly?

Just when ARE you getting a signal from the Universe - and when are you only hearing from your own internal demons? How do you know which is which?

Lately I've run up against a few of these cosmic splats. Here's what I've determined are sure signs of a Universal signal telling you to change course:

1. The signal is big and dramatic. Back when I was a freelance copywriter yearning to be a real writer, the Universe arranged for my copy portfolio to be stolen and all of my work to dry up overnight. Suddenly I had all the time in the world to finish my first novel … and get it picked up by a major publisher within just a few months.

2. Clues may start piling up. Just recently, I put together a small cabaret trio to perform locally. I thought it would be a great way to keep my vocal chops up while developing a bigger, more long-term project for myself. Yet within one 24 hour span, one partner pulled out, the other decided she wasn't sure she wanted to stick with it, and the borrowed piano we'd been rehearsing with got loaned elsewhere. I got the message.

3. Your instinct will confirm the signs around you. As I was rehearsing with the ill-fated trio, collecting music, and lugging borrowed pianos around, I had this vague background sense that I should really put that energy into the piece I'm writing. Still I chose to ignore it. Meanwhile, the Universe saw me busying myself with the wrong long-term project and let me know it. You'll get a great sense of relief when you follow the signal. I did, and so did my partners.

What's the Most Auspicious Color for Your Office?

Recently I posted a Joy Letter all about Feng Shui to create a more favorable or auspicious office. And of course, a big piece of that is color and specifically, decorating.

You can make your office a visually appealing space that really allows you to dig in, live your joy and turn your passion into your every day life. Paint it a favorite color, or one that's auspicious for you.

The Kua Calculator is a Chinese Feng Shui tool that helps you pick your auspicious color based on the time of your birth, date of birth and your gender. That will help you figure out which element is associated with you. Then you can also decorate with whatever nourishes that element.

For instance, if your element is wood, water feeds trees. So watercolors, water-themed visuals, pictures of turtles, lakes, and boats on lakes … these are good for a 'wood' element person.

Report from a brand new Joy Facilitator

Recently, a new crop of 65 folks from around the world became Joy Facilitators and will now be leading my How Much Joy and in some cases, my Living Your Joy workshops. Here's a report from facilitator Sandi Nance …

"I received my Joy Facilitator materials late Monday, and began doing the workshop myself yesterday morning …  I am absolutely amazed at the stuff that's coming up for me that I've never been able to put my finger on before. This morning I did the Creativity Exercise and was SHOCKED at what I was able to come up with when I set my timer and then just relaxed and let my piece of aluminum foil inspire me (doesn't THAT sound a little weird! <grin>).  I have never considered myself a creative arts type of person.  I write and I speak and I've always felt that that was the extent of my creativity.  Well, this morning I wrote on a piece of tin foil, and what showed up is absolutely without question the most gorgeous thing I have ever created."

"I bought this material because I was looking for some sort of "framework" for my own material and I was hoping I could find something of use in this notebook.  I have only gotten as far as that Creativity Exercise and I already know that I have gotten what I was looking for.  Thank you so much, Suzanne, for making this available! I'm looking forward to continuing on through my notebook tomorrow and learning even more about myself!"

Learn more about my How Much Joy Facilitator's workshop

How to build a better fire

Every night after almost eight or nine hours pouring over a hot computer, I need a little therapy … something to push the reset button. And I realized last night, as I curled up for yet another night in front of the fire, that this was it.

Larry (my husband), a crackling fire, a kid quietly doing his Sudoku puzzle and maybe a glass of wine. What could be better?

Here are tips I've gleaned from about 30 years of random fire building (I even had a fireplace in my room at Wellesley where I was the resident firebug.)

1. Use a grate and wad up about 4 or 5 pieces of newspaper under it to get the fire going.
2. Next layer above the grate is small to mid-size kindling
3. On top of that consider a teepee style pile of logs (like this pic.) A Scotsman taught me this trick … and it works well with old 'Rumford' style fireplaces like ours - tall, shallow firebox with tapered sides
4. Let enough ash accumulate so a good pile sits right under it with no more than one inch of air between the ask and the bottom of the grate.
5. Make sure you've got the flu open before you light <grin>
6. When the fire burns down, scrape down loose coals from the logs
7. Keep wood at room temp for at least 24 hours before you burn

Let 'er rip … and do keep a firescreen up, will you?

How to Be Appropriate on a Blog

I'm learning a lot teaching my 'Blog Your Way to a Bestseller' course with Andy Wibbels. In particular, it's fun observing what Andy calls the 'Geek Underground Etiquette Among Bloggers'. This is the practice of not going on blogs and leaving spammy comments that sell stuff. Or ingratiating yourself with bloggers just so you can sell something to their people.

Instead, you need to be an upright blogging citizen. Andy says: 'operate from the right place of integrity and it all works'. I actually think most people who violate those little rules above simply don't know how the game is played - after all, it's all pretty new, right?

I love that spreading the word about your blog simply means going out, making (honest-to-God) friends, introducing yourself here and there, and letting yourself be heard. That's neat!

Hustle and Flow

Recently, I had the chance to watch an incredible indie film, Hustle & Flow, about a drug dealing pimp in the backwaters of Memphis who lives his dream of becoming a successful rapper. I found a lot of inspiration here for dream pursuit - and you will, too.

Winner of the Sundance Festival Audience Award, and recent winner of the Oscar for Best Song, 'It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp', this film's already way on the map. You've got to order this thing from Netflix and see it, as I imagine it's long gone from the theaters.

Here's what I loved about Hustle & Flow: it conveys one of my key messages - that your creative self-expression is the fast road to healing. It can give you back your mojo in about one minute when you connect to that magical spirit - even when you're a down and out pimp having a mid life crisis. You can just feel that passion that pours through his soul.

Yes, there was violence. Yes, we're heroizing a guy who's made a lot of mistakes. BUT DJ, the star, totally redeems himself the minute he lets himself become vulnerable enough to write down some lyrics, share them and sing them. Even his hookers get in on the act, one managing him and the other singing back up. The ending is just as surprising and great as the movie itself.

Check it out!

Our Natural Tendency to Be Shy

One thing I noticed in my coaching today is how naturally shy people are to toot their own horn. How I wish they weren't, for it makes it ever so much harder for their people to find them.

An example: I was coaching a client who is a therapist about her bio for a possible media page. When I asked for her credentials, she told me she had a masters in psychotherapy. Which sounds educated, but somehow not very accomplished in the field. On further probing, I found that she's been working in the field with people for fifteen years … that she had, in fact, helped hundreds of people in her practice.

Now THAT sounds accomplished.

Another client was concerned about a competitor who'd recently entered her field of coaching. "I'm far more established," she fretted, "but nobody really knows it." We remedied this by doing a little math. In the prior 8 years, through the publication of a book, a magazine, and the getting of much media, we figured she's helped more than 250,000 people with her work. So that immediately got posted on her website, and in her media materials.

It's interesting how much bigger your platform can become if you stop looking at your credentials on paper, and really tally up who you've helped or how long you've been in practice. That's what people really care about anyway!

What can your bigger platform claim be?

How I spent last Friday

Lately, we've been observing the law of Sharpening the Saw around the Joy camp. Just about every member of my team takes one day off during the work week and makes that time just for them. Some of us use it to catch up and get control of the office - I use mine to get out of my office and sit in Speeder & Earl's, an Internet café in Burlington and write. Then I go do some hot yoga at the place across the street. I also visit dentists, get oil changes, and take care of other 'life stuff.'

Like making tiramisu. I made this in prep for my first dinner guests in … well, about six months. Hubby and I suddenly realized we were turning into total hermits, and why? Because I was refusing to do anything but work.

That's officially over. I'm back to living a balanced life. And happily, that includes whipping up glorious, fattening desserts like this one. Because you can't live on toast and good intentions all the time, now can you?

Guess you guys want to help spread the joy!

Amazing results from my recent Joy Facilitator's Training sale, and the launch of my Joy Facilitator's Training LITE. 62 of you have joined our ranks! I'm so grateful and proud that my little program is moving so many people into action … we are going to rock and roll!

I'm looking forward to meeting all of you on our Yahoo Group. And speaking to my FULL Joy Facilitator's on our next live Facilitator's call, which will be in May. Topic: A Speaking 'One Sheet' Clinic & Speaking Site Tour.'

Rock on Joy spreaders, everywhere!

Mandisa rules!

Last week us American Idol fans (I know, I know - enough with the prime time TV, right? Actually, this is highly informative stuff for creative souls!) … we all got to watch an absolutely KICK-ASS performance by the AI artist known as Mandisa. This woman rocks the house 100%!

So I've been thinking about why … what did she have in that performance of a Chaka Khan tune that set her so far above and beyond her peers?

a) Complete confidence. Mandisa - a large woman who definitely doesn't fit into the conventional vanilla US definition of beauty - is beautiful because she totally owns who she is. The song she sang, rightly, was 'I am Everywoman' … and man, she WAS everywoman! Mandisa loves her differentness.

b) Maturity. This is probably the natural advantage of her and Taylor Hicks ('the gray haired guy') who are both listed on the AI site as aged 29. I'm guessing that may not be totally accurate, but who cares! They have the wisdom of going out there, having triumphs and disasters, and living life for a while. No matter how talented the young fry are, they simply can't compare.

c) Groundedness. This is really more of the maturity message, I think. Mandisa knows she's worked for this all these years - she's already a professional performer. AND, she knows she deserves everything she gets. Her public forgiveness of Simon (just before the final cut) for his abusive remarks regarding her weight were a pure example of this.

d) Spiritual connection. Mandisa has publicly thanked Jesus a few times on her web page, and acknowledged her spiritual guidance. I'm not saying you have to be a holy roller OR even remotely spiritually inclined to be a great artist. Not at all! I'm just saying this is totally working for her - she obviously find great strength here, so good for her for owning it, sharing it, and living it.

If you have a chance, tune in. American Idol is Tuesday at 8/7central (a 2 hour special) and 9/8 central on Fox.

How to Get Publicity with Seminars & Workshops

All week long my very best-selling product – which was removed from the market for a year – has been in pre-launch sale mode. That would be the Joy Facilitator’s Training LITE. It’s basically a license that allows anyone to create, book, fill and lead their own creativity workshop.

(Have I ever mentioned that speaking and leading group events like workshops can be an excellent way to build platform? Even if you just get a business card from half your audience, that’s the way to build a really responsive list.)

Anyway, the phone’s been ringing off the hook! The response is twice what it’s ever been before, and that tells me that more people than ever really want this work … and want to get up in front of audiences.

There’s simply no better way to deliver your work, and gain immediate audience trust. AND the added perc is that events like workshops and seminars naturally attract publicity.

It’s a lot easier to get a local or regional TV news reporter, for instance, to cover what you’re doing if it’s live than if it’s not. That’s why so many authors love to arrange book appearances – because it’s something you can actually offer the media that’s happening. And is therefore newsworthy.

The very first time I ever led this workshop for the general public (long before I ever began licensing others to lead it), I casually called up the Features Editor at the Burlington Free Press in VT near my home. They ran the story on the front page of their Friday Living section – I was amazed. They even sent a photographer who shot pictures of all the cool things people made.

As a result, I began to get requests for the workshop … and led more and more … and the rest is my own small version of history.

See the power of going public with your work?

Five More Things You Can Do Right Now to Build Platform

1. Learn how to optimize your site for search engines. Remember those keywords we were just talking about. Well, there are lots of cool tricks you can do with them that help boost your attractiveness to search engines, who will deliver almost 80% of your traffic, according to experts. For one thing, forget splashy banners and try text ads with a few keywords inserted into your home page (basically just a box with text in it.) Plant 6 or 7 key phrases throughout the copy … three times appears to be a magic number. Then be sure to create a site map of your website, and put the link down in the footer. On the site map, give keyword-imbedded descriptions of each link on your site. SE's love that!

2. Create free articles and learn where to submit them. One of the really great things about the Web is that you can write an article, and shoot it out there to thousands and thousands of readers in a matter of a few hours. Be sure to include an optimized 'bio box' at the end which includes your name and URL, but also bold, hyperlinked keywords that can attract search engine attention. When you order my ebook, Get Known Now; How to Build Your Platform as a Self Help Expert, you get a bonus of several databases including a list of more than 90 article banks, syndicators, and distribution sites to submit your article to.

3. Create a media kit. This is a two-pocket envelope with a fast, easy to read précis of just who you are, what publicity you've already gotten, and why the media should know about you. Include press releases, reviews, tip sheets, bios, site or product write ups, any press mentions, and your head shot.

4. Book some free talks and workshops. Nothing connects with an audience like a little piece of you. Appearing live is not only a chance to make a more forceful impression on your audience, it's a great reason to attract local media …and rack up clippings for your media kit and reel. (See below.) Start small with local venues like the Kiwanis Club or Business & Professional Women's Associate

5. Start a blog. Just like this one! Once you’ve got a brand in place and a sense of your niche and market, set up a blog. Use it to define your voice, get clear on your offer, and learn more about your market. They come with way more search engine optimization already built in. In fact – you can learn all about why blogs are the best way to create best selling products in a free teleclass I did with Andy Wibbels. Blog on!

This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to building your platform and getting known in the world. For more information on doing what it takes to become famous in your field, check out my site at www.getknownnow.com

Five Things You Can Do to Build Platform Now

So here’s my to-do list for you on how to get your platform strong and solid now – and build that national audience you’d like for your dream work.

1. Research and carve out an ironclad niche. Get clear on who you are, what you do, and what pre-existing problem you solve. Then put that niche into words with a brand name or phrase. Don't be just another vanilla coach who wants to 'help people live authentically.' Research your niche on the Yahoo, Google and Amazon.com to find out just who else is doing similar work. Then look for ways to separate yourself from the pack.

2. Identify your market. Before you can begin connecting with your audience, you'd better find out who they are. Then you can best tailor your efforts to hone in and find them. What sorts of magazines do they read? What kinds of life changes are they going through? What sorts of websites would they hang around at? Create an R&D group of friends or associates to survey for this information.

3. Research your best keywords. Keywords and phrases are the meat and potatoes of Internet marketing, and a great entry point for finding your audience. Go to www.wordtracker.com and use their services for a day to really dig into which keywords get more traffic, and which get less. Experts advise using uncrowded key phrases that are a bit 'off' (i.e. 'New York literary agent' instead of 'literary agent'.) These will produce a steady stream of hits, but you won't be competing with (literally) 50,000+ other sites for attention.

4. Get the best URL. Try to reserve a URL and site name that reflect your best keywords. Yes, having a fun name can be helpful, but a clear name will do a lot more for you. Especially if it has a keyword imbedded in it (and in the URL.) That makes Search Engines happy, and will do lots to help you down the road as you distribute articles, etc.. Think benefit benefit benefit. Good site URL's we've found, for example, are "Successnet.org" and "Selfimprovement.com". Your target market is more likely to find you (at least in the beginning) through this, than through your name.

5. Get a terrific headshot. Not enough can be said for biting the bullet and hiring a genuine, professional photographer. (Not the guy at Sears with the veiny grey backdrop.) You can find location photographers who shoot portraits on the side through websites like alltimefavorites.com

You can learn more and find more tools about building platform at www.getknownnow.com or my platform blog at www.painlessselfpromotion.com

How to Attract National Media & Publishers to Your Creative Work

As some of you know, I have this whole other line of work that helps anyone – particularly creative professionals – package themselves so they build a solid platform.

What... pray tell... is a platform?

A platform is what you stand for in the marketplace - your carefully defined niche … AND it's how many people out there know about it, and you. 'Platform' is the industry buzz word literary agents, TV bookers, magazine and newspaper editors, and just about everybody in the media uses when determining whether or not to feature you or do business with you.

As in "Nice idea... but what's the author's platform?"

Platform is what separates you from the pack; without it, you can kiss mainstream book deals, interviews, columns, and air time good bye. More than one literary agent and editor in major publishing has told me they seldom consider proposals for books or columns from writers with no platform.

Why? There are several answers, depending on whom you ask.

Book industry types need authors with platform because the publishing houses no longer have marketing money for books besides those at the top of their lists. That means they rely on unpaid publicity to sell books, i.e. airtime on radio and TV, and write ups in newspapers, magazines and websites.

Meanwhile, radio and print media folks are simply looking for the next big thing - or trying to anticipate trends. So if they run across an author or self-help expert with a platform that is quickly brewing, they're interested.

In addition, TV and other major media bookers need to know that the guest they trot out in front of millions is a proven entity, so they tend to really check you out in advance. They want you to have a website, media clips, a great press kit, a video reel. Your platform works as a kind of public pre-approval which reassures media bookers. And all of these folks have less time to do more, so they need everything they're offered to be laser-like in it's intensity and clarity, easy to access, and loaded with reasons why. A big platform certainly helps get the point across faster that you're someone to feature.

So your ability to 'break out', as it's known in the media, is not about the nobility of your cause or even, ultimately... sigh... the depth and quality of your work. It's all about how many people already know who you are and what you do. Like right now. Before all that great TV and magazine exposure.

This has to be this century's biggest catch-22, because how can your work actually get known unless you impress all those folks listed above?

The good news is that you can. Developing a platform is a straightforward affair that requires mainly focus, patience, and stick-to-itiveness … all qualities that are easy to conjure up when you're passionate about your work.

I’ll be running more on platform building tomorrow … do check back!

The ‘Never Enough Time’ Crunch & How I Created It

I will now confess a guilty secret: I always under-schedule my time. Try to pack too much in. Make a to-do list that would intimidate an Army sergeant. Leave three projects undone on my desk late at night. Live in perpetual shame that I haven’t done it all.

See the vicious cycle? I somehow can’t make myself stop doing this … and it’s not terribly productive. Not if everything you do has the stink of shame around it, simply because ten other things aren’t happening at that exact same moment.

Mind you, I take breaks. I read The Power of Full Engagement – I understand how that works, and the value of being refreshed every two hours. BUT, I also have an appetite that’s too big for what I could do.

I think the problem is there’s no automatic ‘No!’ mechanism. I’m still operating as if I have to seize every opportunity that comes along. Oh … to just have one day when I got everything done on my list, with nothing left over.

Do you relate to this? How have you managed to tame the wild beast who wants to create a monster to-do list?