How to Handle Disappointment

OK, we can't always be all joy all the time in this blog. I mean, we've got to reflect life, right? Which does occasionally contain disappointment; so here are some thoughts on how to handle it. For without learning to deal with disappointment, you can never truly live your dream.

Say you get a wild idea. You think and ponder and eventu ally take baby steps towards producing this idea, all the while imagining a better day, far ahead, when you will actually be living this dream. That day always seems rosy, bright, seamless, until, of course, you've lived it.

Through hard work and perseverance, you eventually begin to live your dream and reality hits. No one prepared you for how hard you would have to work! No one told you you wouldn't spend Easter with your kids three years in a row! No one told you how many scary airplane rides you'd have to take, or how many bad reviews you'd have to weather in the press. No one prepared you for the first time you'd have to fire an employee.

And yet ... this is your dream. Welcome to it.

Within all this dark stuff, you find the true test of your character. You discover what you're made of, and where you're still hanging on to the illusions of childhood. You find out just how passionate you really are, and you learn about the shifty nature of being human. You'll discover your true creative resourcefulness, and sit back in wonder when miracles happen. You may even learn on a gut level about spirituality and it's place in your dream.

The popular view is that life should be fun all the time, and that since it never is, there's a design flaw somewhere. My view is that these 'design flaws' are actually just as guided as the dream, itself, and provide unique opportunities for growth and rebirth.

Stephen Sondheim's musical "Into the Woods" has a wonderful verse that uses going into the woods as a metaphor for experiencing the dark side of any dream:

Into the woods you have to grope,
'Cause that's the way you learn to cope
Into the woods to find there's hope,
Of getting through the journey.

That's the long view to remember when pursuing any dream. Sooner or later, once you begin to live them, all dreams are destined to become plain old reality, complete with speed bumps. The key is to keep an eye on how your dream is serving others, and to remember that all those disappointments are merely tools for moving forward.

That is, indeed, how you get through the bigger journey called life.

Tags: Dealing with disappointment, joy, happiness