One Step On The Way

Recently, a reader sent me this question:

"What about when you actually reach a huge dream, and then realize that it was just one step on the way? When I finally got my dream, after a lot of work, I found myself weary on Step One of a huge staircase. I'd like to hear about the disappointment/joy/weariness/pride mixture, and everything that goes with reaching a dream and continuing after that."

This eloquent little note speaks about something so true and wonderful, specifically, the moment that your dream urges you to grow. I have said it again and again: our dreams are in our lives to teach us how to become bigger and more generous adults. They are here not just to fulfill us, but to give us a gift that we can freely share with others.

So yes, looking your dream dead in the face can be intimidating, especially once you've begun to achieve it. (It's the old "careful what you wish for" syndrome.) And yet, I attribute that overwhelm to some outmoded thinking. ("Can I keep up? What if THEY discover what a phony I am? What if I fall flat on my face?")

When doubt and overwhelm creep in, you have to stop and breathe. Then you have to get in touch with these basic truths about the whole dream-seeking process:

1. Remember that you're not alone. You are guided on this little mission of yours, and that guidance is never, ever going to leave you, no matter what! So even when the going gets impossible, help is actually at hand. You just have to remember to go within, ask for some direction, and do as told.

You will expand to meet the job. When my friend Marla, a mother of a two-year-old and ten-month-old found out she was unexpectedly pregnant with twin boys, she burst into tears. But then, in an inspiring moment of truth, Marla decided she had been given this challenge as a gift, and she was going to rise to the occasion and be an excellent mother. Marla ( who also runs a sales department of more than 200 employees in a high-pressure job in New York City) has never looked back and is, indeed, a dedicated Super-Mom.

In other words, no matter how intense the pressure becomes, you can handle it, or it wouldn't have been given to you in the first place. Learning to make that leap is, indeed, the lesson.

Accept that life is a roller coaster. There is a persistent belief out there that if you do pursue your dream, it will be one long, rose-tinted joyride. NOT! Dreams do not come with money-back guarantees for happiness and contentment. Not at all! They are fraught with all sort of stressors and inconsistencies. And that doesn't mean they are wrong or bad. It simply means you are living a little more on the edge than usual.

2. Don't collapse into your drama. Don't get all wrapped up in how tough and scary things are. Instead, consider that overwhelm is actually a sign of being fully alive. So when you're out there living on the edge, simply expect to be overwhelmed from time to time. And know that this is a true sign of being fully engaged with life. Overwhelm can be a tremendous catalyst to your creativity, as it was for Marla. The trick, then, is to turn that overwhelm around so it no longer plagues you, but feeds you.

3. Go within, pronto! To get past overwhelm, first calm down and go within through meditation, yoga or journaling for at least half an hour each day. (Yes, you have time for this, I guarantee you do.) I'm learning that a daily yoga or meditation practice is the one truly effective technique for enhancing your ability to receive clear guidance. Make this the priority when panic creeps in.