Blast O' Joy

Happy For No Reason?

So what’s a gal who’s all about living your joy have to say about a book that calls itself ‘Happy For No Reason?” Good things, that’s what!

As a professional Joy pusher, I was happy to find Marci Shimoff’s book. In it is an interesting point about how we all have a preset ‘happiness set point’ … that place where we intuitively stop when things get ‘too’ happy. Sound familiar? The book proposes a very organic 7 step process to moving you out of that stuck place and into a deeper experience of your own authentic happiness. I was really struck by some of the ideas here … I think you’d probably love ths book. I did.

And right now, not surprisingly, it’s at the top of Amazon’s best seller list – awesome! Jump in and join the wave … and get happy!

April is Officially ‘Fun Month’

My good friend Andrea Lee has a theory – that you can earn twice as much in half the time, if you’re smart about how you work. She calls it ‘unworking’. For too long I’ve been in ‘nose to the grindstone’ mode … and frankly, I’m just not going to do it anymore. I’m going to test Andrea’s theory for the month of April, and officially give myself a whole lot more time for fun, R&R, and creative chilling out.

And then, when I sit down to work at my computer, I will design my time to work smarter, spend less time and accomplish more. Not sure HOW this will happen but only that it must, cause I’m just not having quite enough fun in my current mode.

On the books are two weeks away visiting New York , Philly and Boston . An acting lesson for my Serenity Hawfire character in New York (fun work), the launch of my new coaching program complete with fun free teleclass (watch for details here and via email), a little family vacation time in NYC , and a week of going around to interactive theater pieces, getting inspired for my Serenity project with official Friends of Serenity. No suffering here, that’s for sure!

Thrown in will also be some time spent playing the piano (if I can find one on the road), going to Bikram Yoga classes, and thinking about how the Serenity script must morph and develop. Oh yeah, just for extra fun, I may tweak some of my sales pages and do some coaching here and there.

And how are you going to max your work time, cut back and have what my old coach Rich Schefren called ‘Miller Time”? I know it’s going to make me more efficient and creative … so how about you?

Shared Joy is Double Joy | Here's to Friendship!

Pssst --- over here.  Shhhhh.  Suzanne's on holidays.  Or, er, that's vacation, rather, since she's American.  Hey, I know!  Let's talk about her while she's gone, shall we??  Hehe!

As readers of 'The Joy Letter' now know, I have the distinct pleasure of joining Suzanne as writer-in-residence, contributing both to the bi-monthly letter and this delight-of-a-blog. 

Who am I? My friends call me 'a,' short for Andrea (Lee), and I'm a writer, or at least I like to think so, most days.  And I'm a business coach and consultant too.  You know, it's what pays the rent.  But in this first post the thing I'm most identifying with is the word friend. 

I know friendship is an old-fashioned word these days.  We don't talk about it much at all, especially on a business level.  But what's bringing me immense joy these days is exactly that - friendship.

Have you thought about friendship lately?  Do you have great friends?  Any new ones, along with the ones that go 'way back?'  How about in your work - have you risked becoming more than just 'work people' to anyone lately?  Like the seasons, I think every year should bring a new crop of friends, ones that reflect back to you where you are in your life - how you're growing and changing with the days.

As a business owner, this is a new discovery for me.  It used to be that I thought friendship belonged in partitioned-off section of my life, designated for 'after hours' when all the work was done.  But here are two things I've learned of late about friendship:

(1) You can mix friendship with work, for surprising effects.

Miuch like when you add the pinch of salt to a meal, a good friend in your business can make everything come alive.  The problem is, many of us don't use friendship as a guide in our work.  But what if we did?

What if this week you decided to follow the energy of friendship in your work - gave a real smile to a customer as you said hello or asked a genuine question with a desire to find common ground?  How about pausing to connect on a human level with a joint venture partner before diving into the nuts and bolts?

The thing about Suzanne and I, in our new business partnerships...is that I liked her from the start.  We began as strangers, drawn to share desserts and tea a couple years in a row, and followed that friendship energy, not any sort of business agenda really.

But it's a funny thing - based on a foundation of friendship, we've found all sorts of wins in our work that we couldn't have predicted.  My energy to expand on Suzanne's great work on Joy allows us to keep this moving - where previously it may well have disappeared.  Suzanne's affection for what I do for coaches makes it possible for me to take a break - grow myself creatively.  Shared joy in this case has really become triple and quadruple the joy, not just double.

So who's a friend you think you might like to do more with, perhaps on a project, as a business partner, or on a shared dream?   How could a new purposeful activity embellish your already joyful friendship energy?

Who's someone you're working with and how might you enrichen your relationship by exploring a friendship? 

For those of you with websites and ezines, what if you treated the people who read your newsletter, or blog, or listened to your podcast, as sincerely great friends?  Look out for your readers by recommending fabulous tools and resources, just like a friend would.  Point out possibilities and make connections, as a friend would.  Even helping out when times are tough, and ask the tough questions, the way a great friend would.

(2) The quality (number, type, etc.) of your friendships can tell you a lot about yourself - where you are right now, and where you're going.

I don't know about you, but I just love the way Suzanne has helped us all navigate using Joy as a guide.  We really *can* live the life of our dreams using just five simple words: 'I want to feel good!'  (Thank you Wayne Dyer!)

But that's the thing - sometimes former friendships can start to *not* feel so good.  They are constraining instead of opening; they small-ize us because of what these friends think of us, instead of giving us permission to do and be anything we dream of; sometimes these outgrown friendships even begin to feel like anchors around our neck - they sap our energy.

Are there friends in your life right now that are doing these things to you? 

What if there was a way to say a graceful goodbye, and free your energy up to become the next iteration of you?

Shedding old friendships and the growth of new ones is a reflection of our growth.  When the energy in a friendship becomes misaligned, the relationship becomes heavy.  Perhaps you've come to value different things.  The things you find important aren't even on your friend's radar.  How can you continue to have a thriving energetic communion if this is the case?

Just as your tastes change and you throw some clothes out after awhile, you begin writing a new genre, or paint in a new medium, friendship has a life cycle.  If you look carefully at your past relationships, I'll bet you discover that your friendships were a reflection of where you were at, in that moment of time.

Accordingly, let's be happily purposeful about our friendships shall we? If you've been feeling at all lonely in your life, make a pact to get out into new social circles and pay attention to who you're drawn to...again, this is a reflection of you.

Maybe you've never been attracted to the very ambitious type - successful and surrounded by others admiration.  But now, maybe this person is fascinating to you - the chemistry is right - you click and a new friendship - suitable for the you of today, is born.

If you let it, this kind of 'follow the friendship' energy will lead you to more joy and give you more energy.   

So do we have a deal?  Will you make a point to consciously allow more friendship into your life? 

I can hardly wait to hear how friendship has changed your life.

And hey, Suzanne?  You're off on vacation awhile, but when you're back, I know you'll be looking for how I christened this new beginning on Blast O' Joy.  I hope you like it, and you know what?  I meant every word:

Shared joy is double the joy and I thank you so very much for your friendship. 

Recommended:  Take 5 minutes to try the Likeability Factor quiz by author Tim Sanders and see just how friendship-ready you are.  It's a great one to send to your friends too.

P.S. Until we figure out how to activate my guest author status, I'll post under Suzanne's name. Ha, I promise not to smear your reputation, S.

How to Make the Most of Your Lunch Hour, Part I

What did you have for lunch today?

Was it a container of yogurt and half the contents of your 'in' box? Maybe you took in a meeting and skipped lunch altogether, until you lifted your head at 3:30 and ran downstairs for a candy bar and an apple (your nod to nutrition.) Or was lunch yet another escape from a job you hate with some fellow disgruntled employees? If so, was vitriol served alongside the hamburgers?

On the other hand, maybe you used your lunch hour to chip away at your dreams. I've recently taken the somewhat dangerous position that one of the best times of day to do the work of your dreams is during your lunch hour. While the concept may seem radical -- What? Do my painting/practicing/blue sky brainstorming right here... at my DESK? You godda be CRAZY! -- there is a certain logic to it.

Look at it this way. If you are like some people who read this blog, you work all day and then come home too tired at night to really put that much energy into your dream. Or perhaps you get up at the crack of dawn, all set to write or compose or paint, and suddenly a child appears in the doorway, wanting an especially early story read to them. On the other hand, lunch hour is technically your time, and it's purpose is to stop, take a break, and refresh your spirit.What better way than to spend your lunch hour than on the work of your soul?

Now you may be involved in something like tap dancing or chain-saw sculpting that could be a tad disruptive at work. No problem. Find a nearby place to do your work. Major cities have rehearsal and even art studios to rent by the hour. Suburbs have church and temple halls you can usually borrow if they're unused. The key here is to be resourceful and use your imagination. Let your mind wander to the place or the means to do what you've got to do. A friend of mine used to use an unused furniture store room at his company to practice tai chi every hour at lunch. Or use the lunch hour to do the quiet work of your dream -- the planning, the research, the marketing, etc..

Technorati Tags: Time management, creativity coaching, living your dreams

A great source for layouts of all kinds

I just found out about a really useful resource for all kinds of affordable layouts for your marketing materials -- StockLayouts.

Got a workshop to promote? A business to network? An ezine to send out? Get a really interesting and well done selection of pre-made templates from StockLayouts - they cover everything: Brochures, Newsletter, Flyers, Ads, Postcards, Business Cards, Letterheads and more.

You can download free sample templates which help you see how the process works, then pick from a wide array of possible designs for purchase. Templates can be customized, which is critical - and they work in just about any design software system you've got from Quark to Word. 

No one less than the Duct Tape Marketing guru, John Jantsch, says "There are lots of templates available but nothing, in my opinion, compares to the quality you get from StockLayouts." What I love about them is that look especially slick because they have royalty-free images and graphics in them … so they really are 'agency quality.' And prices are darn reasonable!

They even have templates for specific industries such as construction, financial services and real estate. Cool!

Technorati Tags: Graphics, custom templates, marketing brochure

Dare To Be Heard, Part III

This is the final excerpt (a continuation of yesterday's post) from my 2000 book, How Much Joy Can You Stand? (Ballantine) which I'm about to re-release on the Net as a free ebook. (Watch for details here.)

The point is this: no matter what you take on, insecurity is part of the job description. It's not possible to blaze new trails and forge your own path while remaining on familiar ground. If you want to start a business, you take on financial risk. If you want to move to another part of the country, you plunge yourself and whomever is attached to you into the unknown. If you want to try any endeavor you care about, you're going to have to kick it out of that cozy little nook it has carved in your soul. And you're going to have to stand there and watch your dream as it takes its first baby steps. This is not an experience for people who crave comfort.

Writer Raymond Carver likened publishing his stories to riding at night in the back seat of a driverless car with no lights on.

And yet, such vulnerability can be a valuable part of the creative process. An acting teacher I once knew insisted that serious doubt is actually a very good sign, a signal that you're being completely honest and vulnerable in your work.

Mark Twain said of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn , "I like it only tolerably well... and may possibly pigeonhole it, or burn the manuscript when it is done." As for me, I only know that I got through the first novel I published by convincing myself no one would ever read it. I was sure that this was yet another little piece of my own personal weirdness that no one would ever have to sit through. And yet, a major publisher actually bought it. 

Daring to be heard, then, is simple. It's recognizing your cascades of self-doubt for what they are: a whole lot of hot air you've cooked up for absolutely no good reason at all. Then, it's mustering up the courage to trust yourself for five minutes anyway, because maybe you really do have something important to say. And,  ultimately, it's having one of those defining little epiphanies and saying, "What the hell."

Daring to be heard means recognizing that if you put your voice out there, all you're going to get back is a yes or a no. The days of public stoning are long over; so is being pilloried. In fact, a large part of the world won't even be paying attention, no matter how loudly you scream.

Daring to be heard, ultimately, is something great you do for yourself. It's giving your poor, withered soul some fresh air and sunshine. Daring to be heard means stretching out languorously in the luxury of a strong opinion, or basking in the joy of planning an endeavor you've always wanted to start. No matter what your medium, the dream is yours and yours alone to realize in your own particular way. With the dream comes the chance to represent yourself in the world in a way that truly matters. Daring to be seen and heard becomes the chance for perfect freedom.
It becomes your chance to fly.

Try this ...

Take a pad of paper and a large, fat magic marker (big, black and permanent works wonderfully well.) Unplug the phone, get family and roommates out of the house, and close your door. Then spend the next half-hour gloriously scrawling out whatever opinion or idea or invective you've wanted to hurl in your life but didn't. Scribble it all out on that pad, as fast and furiously as you can. Don't stop. Don't judge. Don't even think. Just spew. If you run out of paper, get more! Just keep on going until you've said everything you had to say. If you find yourself crying, yelling and pounding the pillows on your bed, all the better.

I find this exercise to be particularly useful after stressful family visits or bad days at work.

Technorati Tags: Joy, creativity, motivation

Dare To Be Heard, Part II

This is part 2 of yesterday's post, excerpted from my 2000 book, How Much Joy Can You Stand? (Ballantine) which I'm about to re-release on the Net as a free ebook. (Watch for details here.)

I will never forget the first time I performed my cabaret act -- a two-woman show in which my partner and I wrote and sang all our own music. For months and months we'd worked on the act, composing, harmonizing, writing lyrics, choreographing moves, all the while convinced that what we were doing was good but strange. No one in their right mind was actually going to like this stuff, though we might get some polite applause. In fact, we only kept going because we were having fun.

Then, our opening night rolled around. As we stood on the stage singing our first number, a curious thing happened. People began to smile. They nodded, and sat up a little straighter as if they were actually listening, and then a miracle occurred: they laughed. All of them. Loudly, even. The audience got the first joke in the lyrics, then another, and another. They laughed in places I hadn't even anticipated. Like some fantastic flying machine lumbering into that sacred moment of lift-off, the act was working. At that moment, I fully understood the impact of what my partner and I had created and it shocked me. I was someone worth listening to. People actually wanted to hear what I had to say.

The common disposition among us is a painful sort of shyness. People get embarrassed when called forth to be themselves for even a millisecond in front of others. The core belief is that since nothing I say matters to anyone, I will end up looking like a dork. This is the precise feeling that keeps people from feeding their dreams.

Oddly enough, that sniggering voice of doubt never really goes away. Years go by and you get somewhat used to it, as you learn to test the waters more and more, and eventually the voice slides from an obnoxious bellow into more of a background drone. Witness the famous acceptance speech Sally Fields made on winning her second Oscar: "I guess you really do like me, don't you?" Observe the fact that Truman Capote was once quoted as saying he'd never written anything he thought was really  good. Not even "Breakfast At Tiffany's." Jane Austen wrote of her work, "I think I may boast to myself to be with all possible vanity, the most unlearned and uninformed female who ever dared to be an authoress."

Can you relate?

Technorati Tags: Joy, creativity, motivation

Dare To Be Heard

This is excerpted from my 2000 book, How Much Joy Can You Stand? (Ballantine) which I’m about to re-release on the Net as a free ebook. (Watch for details here.)

So, you want to be a venture capitalist, write a screenplay, or open a Victorian tea garden like the one you visited once in London and never forgot. So, you want to do anything slightly risky that demands a personal vision.

          You? ... You?  says the voice, as it collapses on the floor in gales of laughter.

          Who do you think you are, anyway?

For many of us, this is where the conversation about pursuing our dream begins and ends. Because, let's admit it -- we're sensible people. We’re not the sort who takes huge, wild risks. We’re not the slightest bit visionary. We don't have a lot of high-minded thoughts that keep us awake at night, and God knows we don't know the first thing those other, more successful people must have known before they set off to realize their dream. We're just ... us. Basic. Flawed. Certainly nothing special.

Actually, when you get right down to it, we think we don't really even deserve to have a dream.

Still, we do have this niggling idea that keeps surfacing and resurfacing, begging to be explored, teased out, played with, and realized. We otherwise staid individuals do have to admit to oddly ambitious stirrings we don't completely understand. So we do what we have always done: we ignore them.

After all, we're just not the kind of people who go off half-cocked after some so-called dream. Right?

The truth is that people with creative impulses need to create, no matter how "uncreative," sensible, logical and otherwise unimpulsive they consider themselves. People with a pressing idea have an obligation to express it. And yet we almost never do. We subscribe to a weirdly common belief that no one wants to hear what we have to say.  No one wants to know about our great new idea, patronize our business, attend our productions, or give us any kind of a break. No one.  We feel as if the world were just waiting to flatten us with some great, universal sledgehammer.

This is the soft, dark underbelly of all dreams, the part that's hovering in the shadows, hoping to derail you. And, this is the first and seediest demon you will have to confront. The really annoying part is that the demon is you. All that imagined rejection is nothing more than your own twisted imaginings. When examined in the cool, rational light of day by other, more benevolent people, your own contribution usually merits a much greater response than you could ever imagine.

Technorati Tags: Joy, creativity, motivation

How to Make Time for Your Soul, Part II

This is part 2 of a list I excerpted from my 2000 book, How Much Joy Can You Stand? (Ballantine) which I'm about to re-release on the Net as a free ebook. (Watch for details here.)

• Multi-task.  Fold nurturing practices into your routine, such as meditating or praying while you walk, or practicing an instrument while dinner cooks. Rather than stare at work on the train, take a book you've been wanting to read. Books on tape are especially good for this.
• Rethink your routine. Jot down your daily routine, then reevaluate it. Does reading the newspaper cover-to-cover do as much for you as working on the furniture you keep wishing you had time to refinish?
• Cut corners cooking. Take advantage of gourmet take-out and grocery-store fast foods, such as prewashed salad, precut vegetables, and premarinated chicken.
  Let the answering machine pick up. Better yet, get on-line and encourage friends to e-mail you, instead of calling.
• Create your own sanctuary. Make a room of your own, preferably with a door. Hang a Do Not Disturb sign on it, and don't let others interrupt you. Family and friends will honor your request to have some time for yourself only if you do, too.
• Quit volunteering so much. Cut your list back to only those things that truly enrich you. Give other people a chance to do the rest.
• Divide up the housework. Hand over the laundry and vacuuming to your mate. Teach your children to do dishes, cook meals and mop floors. And be willing to give up control of the end results. Read Patricia H. Sprinkle's book, Children Who Do Too Little ; Why Your Kids Need to Work Around the House (and How to Get Them to Do It)  for terrific pointers on how to make this happen.
• If you can't relax your standards, delegate. Hire local teenagers, professional housecleaners, or even a temp service to help you clear out your desk, answer correspondence, pay bills, organize closets, walk the dog -- whatever you can give up that makes more time for you.
• Do something you truly love. Once you've created this time for yourself, use it wisely. Take on the challenges and dreams that really will improve your life. Chances are that once you start, it will be very hard to stop.

Technorati Tags: Joy, creativity, motivation

How to Make Time for Your Soul

This is excerpted from my 2000 book, How Much Joy Can You Stand? (Ballantine) which I'm about to re-release on the Net as a free ebook. (Watch for details here.)

• Unplug your television. Even better, completely remove it.
• Cancel your subscriptions. Get rid of anything you don't read.
• Make regular 'soul' time every day. If you're a morning person, get up one hour earlier and dig into your projects. If you're a night person, stay up one hour later.
• Say no to your boss. Leave at 5:00 or 5:30. Chances are, you'll find you're more valuable than you thought you were. Also, you'llp robably find you work with increased efficiency. Offer to come in one hour earlier, if need be, to leave time for your evening classes, projects, events.
• Don't waste your lunch hour eating. Bring lunch to work, eat it briefly at your desk, and then get out there and do what really matters to you.
• Stop agreeing to do things you don't truly want to do. This includes volunteering, meeting friends and family, and serving on committees.
• Redesign your work schedule. Create one day or several  afternoons a week to concentrate on the things you really want to do in life. Explore flex-time alternatives in your workplace. Consider telecommuting, working from a home office, or going free-lance with your company. If giving up corporate benefits seems impossible, get in touch with self-employed advocacy groups like Support Services Alliance, Inc., to find out about their various insurance plans for members.
• Put the kids to bed earlier. Establish 'grown up' time, a time zone when all children are in bed (even if they're only looking at books or listening to tapes before going to sleep) and the adults get to have a little room to breath.

… to be continued tomorrow…

Technorati Tags: Joy, creativity, motivation

Getting the Joy word out there

Kare Anderson wrote me a kind comment about my new e-book edition of How Much Joy Can You Stand that's launching later this week:

"Suzanne, with your ever enlarging circle of fans, including me, you might suggest your Top Ten favorite ways we can cite quotes or excerpts from your book in our ezines and/or blogs, handouts when we speak, memos in our organization etc. referring back to your blog where people can download the book too - and referring to your other great books and products. I know i'll look for your communicate-to-connect comment to include in my Say it Better ezine."

Thanks, Kare. Here's what I propose. When the book is ready, I'll make it available on a download/ registration page. And I'll provide a few liftable articles, top ten lists, etc.. that folks can use if they want to run something in their newsletter about it.

What specifically would anyone like to have to help them spread the Joy word?
(By the way, as a lead up to the re-launch of my book, I'll be posting tidbits of it here this week.)

Technorati Tags: Joy, creativity, motivation

Publishing my book again … the grass roots way!

I'm thrilled to announce that a very special project that's close to my heart will be unveiled next week.

Specifically, I was able to get the rights back from Ballantine on my first Joy book - How Much Joy Can You Stand? - which I will be distributing for free across the Web in a viral edition.

For now. One of these days my financial gurus are probably going to have their way and I'll start charging for it. But for now, I just want to give the book away.

It's a powerful little book and truly everyone who reads it is touched by it.

Proof:
- More than 70,000 people have read it
- It's been excerpted in Fitness and featured in many other publications including SELF, Publisher's Weekly, msn.com and i-village.com
- SARK, Cheryl Richardson and Laurie Beth Jones all wrote glowing blurbs
- It's been translated into French and Portuguese

Ultimate Proof: I've gotten literally hundreds of fan letters about the book from people all over the world

Watch here for a download link and an easy way to share the book with friends.

Tags: Viral marketing, Suzanne Falter-Barns, joy

An Empowering Message About Asking For What You Want

Our reader, Jean, posted this comment under my remarks about asking for what you want. I thought her big request took guts, and was inspiring. (Jean, if you're reading this, do post a comment on what happened!)

"Last month, I made the decision to ask for a new car for Mother's Day! Gutsy step for me! Usually I say things like, 'I don't really need anything' or 'I have everything I need already' or 'You don't have to get me anything...really.'

This year, I'm different...I've been leaving not-so-subtle hints around the house (like photos of me and my dream car on the computer desktop, printouts of the car info with my hubbie's work papers, informing the two teens how much it would help make our life easier). Just to be sure that this is the car I really want, I took it for a test drive last week. And yes, I really do want it! It's a Subaru Outback Wagon...and the price I came home with ended up being $7,000 LESS than I was anticipating :)

We'll see if it 'magically' appears in the driveway for Mother's Day, but even if it doesn't, I've had a lot of fun and a lot of laughs using my creativity to ask for what I really want (and what our car-sharing family really needs, as well). Bottom line...if it's not in the driveway this Sunday, it will be by the following Sunday!!"

Tags: Asking for what you want, self esteem, Mother's Day

Is it Important to be the Best at What Your Do?

Bob Bly, a successful copywriter and marketing pundit, asks a great question in his Bly Blog … Is it Important to be the Best at What You Do? Here's what Bly gleaned from reading Paul Pearsall's book, "The Last Self-Help Book You'll Ever Need" (Basic Books, 2005).

"Settle for second (or third or sixth) best," advises Dr. Pearsall. "In any life endeavor, there can be only one number one. Relax and enjoy being one of the thousands who fall short … misery is the ultimate result when we link our sense of achievement to other people's failures."

And here's more of Pearsall's somewhat negative advice: "Stop trying to live up to your full potential. You probably don't have much more potential than you're showing right now, and striving for more will only cause disappointment."

Bob Bly doubts that this is true … how about you? Do you think number two will be good enough?

As I round the later part of my 40's I have a much more mellow view of having to be number one at everything. I'm guessing this is a developmental thing. My husband, who was one of the top editorial portrait photographers in New York in the 80's is way over it - and he's 64. We agree you go through phases when you're determined to be the best. But they don't have to be absolute … and it really is OK to sink back to a more mellow place as you get older.

How about you … are you still determined to be number one?

Tags: Middle age, mid life crisis, achievement, success

My Own Happiness Hit List

Building on yesterday's post about how to get over a bad mood, here's my own personal list of things that bring me joy at the moment:

1. Seeing water (not ice) on Lake Champlain … and it's gloriously still and calm
2. The appearance of very young, very pale spring green leaves on trees
3. The smell of baking chicken
4. Going to our CSA (farm coop) on Fridays to pick up jars of extra creamy milk, just cut grass-fed beef steaks, fresh new maple syrup, and some gloriously old and huge rutabaga's
5. Cleaning the house with my family (and watching our kids mop floors, clean bathrooms, and empty trash cans) … that REALLY brings me joy
6. Knowing that my future truly is up to me  -- which is both daunting and joyful
7. Working with Rich and Lena, my business coaches, who get what I do better than me
8. Working with my incredible staff who turn stuff around so fast, and have such amazingly good ideas for making this little company go
9. The photo I saw of a 99-year-old Parisian woman decked out for the Paris fashion shows in black Issaye Miyake plus a lavender ostrich feather hat
10. My friend Laurie's seed incubator, which is roughly the size of a coffee table, and is hatching seeds for about 5000 flowers right now
11. The tenacity of wild strawberry leaves, the only green thing in our yard as the last foot of snow finally melts
12. My friend Trisha
13. Anticipating the first icy swim in the lake with Larry, my husband, as we plunge in in our new swim skins
14. The words that come as God tells me what to write, as usual, in this blog
15. The sanctity of doing what I am meant to do in life

Tags: Self-motivation, living your dreams, joy, happiness

How to Get Over a Bad Mood

I was in no mood for joy this morning when I started writing this post. I'd just spent twenty minutes in telephone hell, listening to one recording after another, trying to find an actual customer service representative at one of the long distance phone companies. By the time I hung up, I was convinced I was experiencing the final decline of western civilization.

Gradually, as the smoke stopped coming out of my ears, I remembered a certain page that used to appear on my web site -- a discussion board with a post called Finding Fifteen Things a Day to Be Joyful About. So I took an unlikely moment to consider mine. And as I did the smoke cleared, my mood shifted, and life was good again. It really was as simple as that.

On this thread, people listed fifteen things that bring them joy. Some of my favorites:

"A walk in the rain on this lazy Sunday."
"Sitting in my pajamas on the kitchen floor with my three year old grandson, eating spoonfuls of peanut butter before breakfast."
"The moss on a tree outside my window."
"The energy I received walking around the strip in Vegas on a Sunday morning."
"Being in bed, getting ready to fall asleep, and having my cat curl up on my belly and purr like a diesel engine."
"The dancing smiles of friends."
"That my neighbor is an 88 year old woman who grows a garden all year long, and does her own yard work."

There is something almost hypnotic about reading what makes others joyful, yet listing them for yourself is even more powerful. It's remarkably soothing.

No matter how sophisticated we think our brains may be, they don't seem capable of holding both tormented, anxious thoughts and happy thoughts at the same time. So by stopping for a moment, and forcing yourself to think about what makes you happy in life, you get a profound perspective shift. Suddenly, the telephone desert you wandered in only a few minutes earlier is gone, and you're back making brownies in the kitchen with a child, each of you licking a beater. I can't emphasize enough what a powerful tonic this is for healing the furious, fed up, frustrated, or just plain downtrodden soul.

Drop me a quick list of your top three right now - just hit the Comments button below. I'll post mine here tomorrow.

Tags: Self-motivation, living your dreams, joy, happiness

Diagram of a Passionate Dream Business, Part II

Back to Kelly and Karen's Kindred Spirit in Key West (see last post) ….

The instant healing I felt in their store comes from what I think of as "the essence". It's an immutable standard for your work that comes from pure passion - and it takes lots of joyful, effortless work. And the minute you get around a place or a person or even a service that's really passionate and hooked into 'the essence' you can sense it immediately.

Working  under the aegis of 'the essence' isn't easy of course. In stead, it's an experience in being driven.

When I met Karen and Kelly, they were coming off of weeks of 12-hour days putting the finishing touches on their store and holding their first event. It's this slightly insane, but critically important vision you get that pushes you forward, and forward, and forward, until you do create exactly what you want.

And please note that such work is not just a string of non-stop, blissed-out moments of creative bliss. There are many moments when you want to go home and go to bed. There are just as many when you lie awake worrying.

Still, there is something sacred and holy that pushes you forward, whether it be the 'essence' or your own hands-on interpretation of God. And you'll always be happy at the end of your life, that you went down that particular road … even if the results aren't exactly what you expect.

So back to my book talk at Kindred Spirit. It was easily the highlight of my 15-city tour that veered wildly from incredibly crowded, excited events that were great for selling books … to two people napping in the back while I tried to drag in browsers in Barnes & Noble's.
Not surprisingly, all of Key West turned out for my talk at Kindred Spirit; the event was electric! All, I say, because people wanted that healing at the heart of Karen and Kelly's hard work. We all simply wanted to be there and tell our friends about it.

May be you as moved as I've been by the healing work of all creators, great, small, famous and unknown, who are driven by nothing more than their desire to deliver what they feel. And may you discover the same within yourself.

Know a business, person, or service that conveys the essence'?

Visit the Kindred Spirit Website.

Tags: set up your own business, run a retail business, follow your bliss

Diagram of a Passionate Dream Business, Part I

Recently I've been thinking about all the touring I did for the release of How Much Joy Can You Stand? when it came out in 2000. It was an amazing time of growth, and I got a lot of insights along the way.

(I'm probably thinking this way because I've just gotten the rights back to the maiden Joy book, now officially 'out of print'. So I'm about to re-release it myself in a totally free, viral e-book version… Stay tuned!)

Specifically, I'm thinking about a New Age bookstore/tea salon in Key West, FL I spoke at called Kindred Spirit. This wasn't a 'must do' stop on the circuit of major bookstores for Authors On Their Way Up. The business was brand new and unknown. In fact, when the owners invited me to speak, they didn't even have a location yet for their store. Still, I had a feeling that this was a place where I had to speak.

There was something about Kelly and Karen, the owners, that resonated with me when I met them at a conference. They had a certain intensity, the air of women on a mission. It was clear that their lack of a lease at that moment was pretty irrelevant -- they would have exactly the space they wanted, and it would be great.

When I got to Key West, my hunch was confirmed. Here was a beautiful old two-story clapboard house, with a gracious front porch, waving palms, and those cool dark green shutters that are so much a part of the Key West landscape.

Every inch of this store held things that were beautiful and unique, each artfully arranged. Karen had hand-painted fresh, original calligraphy on the walls, and they had composed their space so you could wander at will, finding treasures at every turn. There was even a tiny antechamber, beautifully decorated, where you could have a reading with a remarkable psychic. Lace-covered tea tables here and there waited for you to sit down, relax, and have superb cup of tea. The effect of being in Kindred Spirit was that my travel-jagged soul was immediately soothed. This store had the ability to heal people.

…. Stay tuned! More tomorrow ….
Visit the Kindred Spirit Website.

Tags: set up your own business, run a retail business, follow your bliss

Victor's Green Energy Trick

Yesterday, I posted about my late friend Victor Philips (he died almost twenty years ago, amazingly.) Victor taught me his ultimate energy focusing tool, which I've reproduced here for you.

Pick a soul project you've been wanting to get to, and carve out some time to work on it. Then, when you're alone with your work, try this brief visualization technique. Unplug phones, keep the kids/spouse/neighbors at bay for a while, and close the door.

Stand in front of your work with your arms at your side. Give a small prayer of thanks for the presence of this work in your life, and ask God to help you clear yourself for the task. Close your eyes and imagine green light entering your body, sweeping it clean of all distracting thoughts and unnecessary concerns. Know that in this light is healing from all the stress of your everyday life. Let the light bathe you, sweeping you clean and free and ready to work.

Then, when you are ready, sit down to the task at hand, knowing you are fully present and ready to focus. Now, get to work and savor the joy!

Tags: Writing, publishing, the writer's life, creativity coaching

How to Hang On To Your Focus

For me, focus as often been an issue. Just when the wheels are rolling, results are happening, and my juices are flowing buckets, I'm inclined to pull back and distract myself with some assorted piece of trivia. I suspect I've done this not out of necessity -- for who really needs to dawdle in junk when you're in the creative flow? It's done out of fear of standing up for myself, and truly extending my power in the world.

I once had a friend, Victor Phillips, who taught me all about the value of focus. Victor was an interior designer and psychic healer who also had tremendous talent as a painter. So it came as something of a shock when we both attended an acting seminar in New York City one weekend, and I watched Victor stand up and perform a monologue.

Victor stood on the stage for several moments with his eyes closed in concentration. Then, when he opened his eyes and started to deliver his speech, he was a transformed person. He was his character, quite literally. People in the audience were crying at the end of his work -- and the most incredible part was that Victor had never acted in his life.

Naturally, on the next break I went straight to Victor and gushed about his talent. "But it wasn't talent," he said. "It was focus. I stood there for a moment centering myself. I pulled up every ounce of energy I had. And then I just did it."

"But you were incredible! You could be a great actor! Will you?" I asked.

Victor looked non-plussed. "Probably not," he said. "I was just seeing where my focus could take me."

Victor died of AIDS several years ago, but I will never forget the amazing lesson he taught me that day. Because what I saw was not that Victor, alone, was this supremely talented man. Instead, I realized how powerful our focus can be when we train its laser beam on what we want to create. And that goes for ALL of us. So we can truly achieve greatness, if we're willing to use the tremendous tool of focusing, and be the powerful force we were given to be in this life.

Tags: Focus, creativity, artist's life, working with energy, Spirit

How to Write Ideas Down Anywhere

Got ideas? Good! Now … don't let them go. These are the manna of your creative life and without 'em you're sunk.

Here are a few idea capture tools that are excellent for all kinds of thinkers.

1. The Shower Pad. My brilliant pal Lena West gets her ideas in the shower, so she keeps a Dive Pad right there next to her - stuck to her shower wall. And she writes down ideas as she gets clean. These underwater writing pads are available at scuba shops and online.

2. The instant messager. Not to be confused with software that sends messages - this is a tiny recording device (some even fit on a key ring.) No matter where you are, it records your ideas in an instant. The key then is to sit at your computer or calendar on a regular basis and transcribe them into actionable steps. Available at Radio Shack and other electronics stores.

3. Good old note pads. That's what I use. Lots of cool little mini notepads. My favorites are those I find at indie stationers in Manhattan that have a plaid or polka dotted cover - a French company, I believe. I buy several each time I go to the city. I keep a few big ones, too, for bigger projects.

4. The black sketchbook. This was a staple of my youth, and I see lots of kids still poring over them in coffee bars in places like Boston. Think black hard cover with lots of nice white paper inside so you can make all kinds of notes, illustrations, collage paste ins, tuck ins, and generally whatever you want. Cool! I feel like an artist with my black sketchbook.

5. The binder with pocket dividers. OK, this is for really big projects. And I set it up just like I would have in school. Pocket dividers collect pieces of paper from my small notebooks. Three hole lined paper collects more ideas and gets tucked into the right chapters in the binder.

Where do you capture your ideas?

Report from the Small Dog

I am a huge fan of The Toymaker (Marilyn Scott-Waters), and especially of her small, stuffed friend 'The Small Dog'.

When you drop by the Small Dog's Page you enter a world of small Quicktime films that are downright hilarious. All of which star 'the small dog', who in fact belongs to Scott-Waters' son, known as The Boy.

Mom and son made these films together - the perfect antidote to the video-tv-xbox triumvirate that dominates most small boy lives these days.

Visit the ever-resourceful Toymaker, download some of her delicious paper toys … and spend a little time with the pup. You'll smile.

Update on my dream

So I get this phone message the other day from a woman who says she's a singer a follower of my work … impressed by what I'm doing … and that she's disappointed that I'm not singing. My first reaction was 'Hey! Give me break! I'm pedaling as fast as I can here." But then I realized (duh) that I haven't blogged at all about the status of my dream - to create and perform my own show, Serenity Hawkfire, professionally.

There is some news to report. First of all, my original partner on the project and I stopped working together last fall. So it seemed a good time to focus on my web work and let Serenity stew and resettle through the winter. We'd gotten clear, specific feedback about how I needed to shape the show to move forward … so I figured I'd get to it when the time was right.

Around January, it seemed that time was at hand, even though I was very involved in building up my websites. Still I promised my support buddy, Trisha, that I would work on Serenity. And she being a good pal stayed in touch on this … checking in frequently. At the end of a week spent trying to dig into Serenity during the appointed writing times, I finally came up dry.

It simply wasn't time for Serenity to rise up again. But it got me thinking that I miss singing… so I set about scheduling some cabaret gigs for the summer.

Now I'm in conversation with The Dock House, a local boite, to set up some regular cabaret nights in which I'd sing … maybe bring in some other folks. We'll see what this turns out to be as it's not clear yet. And I got the commitment of an excellent local jazz pianist to play some gigs with me. I've also begun working again with my voice teacher, the lovely Atea Ring, and vocalizing regularly.

So yeah, actually, I am singing … as much as I can at the moment. And I'm really looking forward to doing some material with my daughter in these gigs (Teal is more of a pop/country singer) and some more contemporary material as well.

How I Unwind and Lose My Stress

As I delve deeper and deeper into this journey to move people to express themselves, I seem to have a tighter and tighter knot of thought and worry in my gut. I can feel it when I meditate; I can feel it creeping up on me in the middle of the night.

So I've taken aggressive measures to keep the stress beast at bay. I've been down the stress-induced illness road once already in life and I'm not interested in going there again.

So for those who might be trying cram a lot in, here are a few tips on how to unwind totally and completely:

1. The hot bath. For me, this is nirvana. Sometimes I even indulgently take two in one day if I'm really going at full tilt - and this picture is the general idea. (That's not me by the way. :) If I want to go really wild, I light some candles. And I always turn off the phone, shut down my email, and close the door to my office. That feels gooooooood. I also use Zum Bars, really indulgent soaps made out of goat's milk that I buy through my health food store that smell UNBELIEVABLY good. They're also sold online.

2. Candles. As demonstrated in the picture above, there's something inherently healing about candles. My favorites come from Zena Moon, a handmade candle company in Washington State run by the highly creative Carla Blazek (I love this woman!) Carla made a special candle for me that's shown here - my Coming Out of Hiding Candle. It smells like freesia and mint and it gives me power… I burn it all day long at my computer. Other favorites are 'Screw Perfection' and sex-o-rama (!) Then there's 'Little Miss Pissy Pants' in sage and pomegranate. Nothing like an irreverent, totally fun candle to light your mood. I burn 'em anywhere I need the recharge.

3. Regular Massages. I've fought this notion for years, feeling that a regular massage is way too indulgent. But I'm seeing what it cost me. (My previously mentioned stress-related illness could have been entirely avoided with regular massage.) So I see Courtney, the local masseuse, every three weeks … and it makes a major difference.

4. Mental Training. There are lots of ways to get our roving minds under control. I'm doing Dr. Jill Ammon-Wexler's Millionaire Mindset training right now, and it's forcing me to spend enough time in 'alpha' state that I can feel myself re-grounding and getting into a more creative, relaxed frame of mind in general. To learn more about mental retraining, take a listen to an interview I did with Dr. Jill recently about brain states.

5. A Good Sweaty Work Out. There is simply nothing that takes me back to zero faster … so I save this for my end-of-day meltdown. It's a lot more effective than a glass of wine, once you get going with a regular program. And it's a whole lot healthier. I have energy that I haven't had for twenty years because I'm doing three sweaty 45-minute workouts per week, plus attending a single Bikram yoga class per week. (That's a MAJOR sweat-fest.) Added perc: Once you get home .. if you still want that glass of wine, you can REALLY justify it!

That's it for now. How to you lose your stress?

What's the Most Auspicious Color for Your Office?

Recently I posted a Joy Letter all about Feng Shui to create a more favorable or auspicious office. And of course, a big piece of that is color and specifically, decorating.

You can make your office a visually appealing space that really allows you to dig in, live your joy and turn your passion into your every day life. Paint it a favorite color, or one that's auspicious for you.

The Kua Calculator is a Chinese Feng Shui tool that helps you pick your auspicious color based on the time of your birth, date of birth and your gender. That will help you figure out which element is associated with you. Then you can also decorate with whatever nourishes that element.

For instance, if your element is wood, water feeds trees. So watercolors, water-themed visuals, pictures of turtles, lakes, and boats on lakes … these are good for a 'wood' element person.

Report from a brand new Joy Facilitator

Recently, a new crop of 65 folks from around the world became Joy Facilitators and will now be leading my How Much Joy and in some cases, my Living Your Joy workshops. Here's a report from facilitator Sandi Nance …

"I received my Joy Facilitator materials late Monday, and began doing the workshop myself yesterday morning …  I am absolutely amazed at the stuff that's coming up for me that I've never been able to put my finger on before. This morning I did the Creativity Exercise and was SHOCKED at what I was able to come up with when I set my timer and then just relaxed and let my piece of aluminum foil inspire me (doesn't THAT sound a little weird! <grin>).  I have never considered myself a creative arts type of person.  I write and I speak and I've always felt that that was the extent of my creativity.  Well, this morning I wrote on a piece of tin foil, and what showed up is absolutely without question the most gorgeous thing I have ever created."

"I bought this material because I was looking for some sort of "framework" for my own material and I was hoping I could find something of use in this notebook.  I have only gotten as far as that Creativity Exercise and I already know that I have gotten what I was looking for.  Thank you so much, Suzanne, for making this available! I'm looking forward to continuing on through my notebook tomorrow and learning even more about myself!"

Learn more about my How Much Joy Facilitator's workshop

Guess you guys want to help spread the joy!

Amazing results from my recent Joy Facilitator's Training sale, and the launch of my Joy Facilitator's Training LITE. 62 of you have joined our ranks! I'm so grateful and proud that my little program is moving so many people into action … we are going to rock and roll!

I'm looking forward to meeting all of you on our Yahoo Group. And speaking to my FULL Joy Facilitator's on our next live Facilitator's call, which will be in May. Topic: A Speaking 'One Sheet' Clinic & Speaking Site Tour.'

Rock on Joy spreaders, everywhere!

Five More Things You Can Do Right Now to Build Platform

1. Learn how to optimize your site for search engines. Remember those keywords we were just talking about. Well, there are lots of cool tricks you can do with them that help boost your attractiveness to search engines, who will deliver almost 80% of your traffic, according to experts. For one thing, forget splashy banners and try text ads with a few keywords inserted into your home page (basically just a box with text in it.) Plant 6 or 7 key phrases throughout the copy … three times appears to be a magic number. Then be sure to create a site map of your website, and put the link down in the footer. On the site map, give keyword-imbedded descriptions of each link on your site. SE's love that!

2. Create free articles and learn where to submit them. One of the really great things about the Web is that you can write an article, and shoot it out there to thousands and thousands of readers in a matter of a few hours. Be sure to include an optimized 'bio box' at the end which includes your name and URL, but also bold, hyperlinked keywords that can attract search engine attention. When you order my ebook, Get Known Now; How to Build Your Platform as a Self Help Expert, you get a bonus of several databases including a list of more than 90 article banks, syndicators, and distribution sites to submit your article to.

3. Create a media kit. This is a two-pocket envelope with a fast, easy to read précis of just who you are, what publicity you've already gotten, and why the media should know about you. Include press releases, reviews, tip sheets, bios, site or product write ups, any press mentions, and your head shot.

4. Book some free talks and workshops. Nothing connects with an audience like a little piece of you. Appearing live is not only a chance to make a more forceful impression on your audience, it's a great reason to attract local media …and rack up clippings for your media kit and reel. (See below.) Start small with local venues like the Kiwanis Club or Business & Professional Women's Associate

5. Start a blog. Just like this one! Once you’ve got a brand in place and a sense of your niche and market, set up a blog. Use it to define your voice, get clear on your offer, and learn more about your market. They come with way more search engine optimization already built in. In fact – you can learn all about why blogs are the best way to create best selling products in a free teleclass I did with Andy Wibbels. Blog on!

This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to building your platform and getting known in the world. For more information on doing what it takes to become famous in your field, check out my site at www.getknownnow.com

Five Things You Can Do to Build Platform Now

So here’s my to-do list for you on how to get your platform strong and solid now – and build that national audience you’d like for your dream work.

1. Research and carve out an ironclad niche. Get clear on who you are, what you do, and what pre-existing problem you solve. Then put that niche into words with a brand name or phrase. Don't be just another vanilla coach who wants to 'help people live authentically.' Research your niche on the Yahoo, Google and Amazon.com to find out just who else is doing similar work. Then look for ways to separate yourself from the pack.

2. Identify your market. Before you can begin connecting with your audience, you'd better find out who they are. Then you can best tailor your efforts to hone in and find them. What sorts of magazines do they read? What kinds of life changes are they going through? What sorts of websites would they hang around at? Create an R&D group of friends or associates to survey for this information.

3. Research your best keywords. Keywords and phrases are the meat and potatoes of Internet marketing, and a great entry point for finding your audience. Go to www.wordtracker.com and use their services for a day to really dig into which keywords get more traffic, and which get less. Experts advise using uncrowded key phrases that are a bit 'off' (i.e. 'New York literary agent' instead of 'literary agent'.) These will produce a steady stream of hits, but you won't be competing with (literally) 50,000+ other sites for attention.

4. Get the best URL. Try to reserve a URL and site name that reflect your best keywords. Yes, having a fun name can be helpful, but a clear name will do a lot more for you. Especially if it has a keyword imbedded in it (and in the URL.) That makes Search Engines happy, and will do lots to help you down the road as you distribute articles, etc.. Think benefit benefit benefit. Good site URL's we've found, for example, are "Successnet.org" and "Selfimprovement.com". Your target market is more likely to find you (at least in the beginning) through this, than through your name.

5. Get a terrific headshot. Not enough can be said for biting the bullet and hiring a genuine, professional photographer. (Not the guy at Sears with the veiny grey backdrop.) You can find location photographers who shoot portraits on the side through websites like alltimefavorites.com

You can learn more and find more tools about building platform at www.getknownnow.com or my platform blog at www.painlessselfpromotion.com

The ‘Never Enough Time’ Crunch & How I Created It

I will now confess a guilty secret: I always under-schedule my time. Try to pack too much in. Make a to-do list that would intimidate an Army sergeant. Leave three projects undone on my desk late at night. Live in perpetual shame that I haven’t done it all.

See the vicious cycle? I somehow can’t make myself stop doing this … and it’s not terribly productive. Not if everything you do has the stink of shame around it, simply because ten other things aren’t happening at that exact same moment.

Mind you, I take breaks. I read The Power of Full Engagement – I understand how that works, and the value of being refreshed every two hours. BUT, I also have an appetite that’s too big for what I could do.

I think the problem is there’s no automatic ‘No!’ mechanism. I’m still operating as if I have to seize every opportunity that comes along. Oh … to just have one day when I got everything done on my list, with nothing left over.

Do you relate to this? How have you managed to tame the wild beast who wants to create a monster to-do list?

Procrastination Tips from Neil Fiore

Those who attended last week’s jam packed free call with Neil Fiore now understand a few fundamentals about why they procrastinate and what they can do about it. Here’s what I learned:

1. Procrastination is actually, on a subconscious level, all about fear. Layer upon layer of fear – which is why you really need to ‘unplug’ it by observing it and making a conscious choice not to listen to it
2. One of the best ways to do that is repeated hypnosis which reprograms the neural pathways to respond differently over time
3. We live in a language of victim-ness, survival response, resistance, etc … what Fiore calls our ‘old hypnosis.’ And actually, when you consider the fact that you’re always habitually reinforcing these language patters … it IS a type of hypnosis
4. You need to spend a minimum of 5 hours per week moving towards where you want to be – even if that time is spent listening to hypnosis tapes to reprogram your mind to get with the program

Whew! Who knew we were such collectors of negativity? I now have new appreciation for just how entrenched my negative self-talk is. Fiore takes the view that we should be kind to ourselves and not reinforce negativity by getting mad at ourselves over it. Sounds easier said than done. But ... (pitch warning!) ...

Until tomorrow, Thursday, Neil’s selling his ‘Productivity Engineering’ CD series at a seriously reduced price to my readers. Plus it comes with bonus-a-rama – and you save 65%.

By the way, if you want to get on free calls like this, just sign up for my Joy Letter. We’ll keep you in the loop!

Five Good New Year’s Resolutions

The New Year is about new beginnings. So let's make 2006 the year you start “getting a life,” not merely “making a living.”

Have you been waiting for the right time to get to work on your dream? That would be right now ... and with the New Year upon us, you’ll have some momentum to keep going.

1. Carve out regular time slots for your dream, and get to work. If you’re a morning person, get up an hour earlier and create as the sun rises. If you’re a night owl, stay up late to get it done. Either way, give yourself a regular shot of at least thirty minutes per day (an hour is better) five times per week. (See #10.)

2. Figure out your soul purpose in life, and put it on your computer. This is your larger job in life. It’s not a task, per se, but some more general gift that you are meant to give to others, such as ‘wake people up to the power of nature’ or ‘remind people of their compassion.’ It can be uncovered simply by journaling, or even meditating on the question.

3. Recognize five time-wasters and end them, pronto. If you compulsively check your email, this one’s for you. Other time wasters include hanging on the phone, parking in front of the TV, and reading the paper from start to finish. Take a clear look at how you spend your time, and honestly assess your time usage.

4. Politely withdraw from at least three situations or relationships that waste your energy. Energy wasters leave you feeling depressed, frustrated, annoyed, unappreciated and vaguely used or beaten-up. Get them out of your life right now, and you won’t believe how much energy they free up for your dream!

5. Find a support buddy or group. This is simply an ally (or a group of them) who really gets behind you and your dream. You can connect via e-mail, phone or live meetings to share inspiration, support, triumphs, disasters, and ideas. Especially helpful if you’re a procrastinator (be in touch before AND after you get your work done each day.)

More to come anon!

What we can learn from geese

During the fall in the Adirondacks, literally thousands of honking Canada geese pass by in V-s overhead, following the north-south trajectory of Lake Champlain, where I live on the New York-Vermont border. Not long ago, I witnessed two v-s of geese flying in parallel skeins down the lake, both honking their hearts out. And I was reminded of some facts I once learned about this bird. First of all, these geese fly fast - up to 60 miles per hour. And they fly a good long time, up to sixteen hours without a rest, on their migration that stretches all the way from Northern Canada to the central US. How?

Through teamwork, pure and simple.

The lead goose never leads for long - this is a rotating position within the flock. So once one bird tires, he drops to the back of the V, and another front-flyer automatically takes over. Not only that, the V's endless honking is all about encouragement - much like my daughter's soccer team chants cheers before they go out on the field to face the competition. If a member of the flock gets sick, one of the birds stays with him until he is well enough to fly again. I like to think of the V as a giant, flying support group.

So what's this have to do with you and your dream? Think like the geese and get yourself a truly loyal gang of supporters to help you on your way. That's indispensable, I find, to getting things done.

How I'm Doing on My Dream

As some of you know, I have a long term dream to create and star in my own off-Broadway or Broadway show, which is a parody of a New Age workshop. Last summer a partner and I staged a version of it in New York, Boston and locally, in my town in the Adirondacks, and screened our audiences for feedback.

Though there were laughs to be had, we both felt there was a lot of room for improvement. And since then, I've been mulling over how best to proceed with the rewrite. Here's what's happening now:

Every night for the past week, I've had sleeping dreams in which I am persistently nudged ahead to the next level. I am flying up to the top of a mountain, or having a glorious affair with an unnamed man, or somehow moving forward in full glory - and I see there is no going back.

So each morning now, I sit down and write Serenity. Either I chip away at her blog (Marketing With Serenity) or I work on the script. And each morning I don't want to. I think I won't have any ideas. Or I try to procrastinate my way out of it.

But when I finally sit down to write, it's as if the tap has been turned on and out comes this funny, exciting, great stuff. The flow is once again flowing … and I am the lucky recipient.

If you're avoiding your dream, don't. There's fun to be had here. I promise!

How I'm Tackling My Persistent Debt

When I embarked on the Joy road and began to live my dream in earnest, I did what a lot of small business owners do: I financed with Visa and Master Card. I figured I'd pay off over time - and I have. The only problem is that I periodically pay down that debt and then up it pops again, like a persistent Jack-in-the-Box. So I have a new approach, because I'm REALLY tired of having credit card debt!

At a recent dinner in Los Angeles with Chellie Campbell, author of The Wealthy Spirit and creator of the Financial Stress Reduction Workshop, I asked her just how I could finally make my debting behavior go away for good. Would it be by earning more money?

"Certainly not!" she crowed. "It doesn't matter what you earn. I've seen people who make $350,000 a year plagued by the same problem." The answer, she says, is in affirmations. Specifically, recite 50 per day to your left eye (which receives information) in the mirror.

So that's what I've been doing for more than a month now. And my list of affirmations has developed and deepened as I go. I'm using my 'Fabulous 50' to achieve all kinds of financial, personal and professional goals. Affirmations work by gently bombarding your brain with new messages that trigger new subconscious thoughts and automatic behaviors. So you find yourself newly motivated to tackle problems. And the Universe responds by pu