The Power of 'Just Asking' … for Women

Reader Tammy Lenski contributed the following comment on my post 'A Parable About Asking for What You Want?'

Suzanne, I smiled all the way through your story, because I saw again the power of simply asking for what we want or need. Doesn't always work, but I know from coaching women in negotiation and managing difficult conversations effectively that it's an incredibly powerful tool...and one that women, more than men, tend to use a bit too rarely!

So let's hear from the rest of you women (and men) on this. Do you tend to ask for what you need? Or are you more likely to just let things past, assume the worst and keep quiet?

Men, do you perceive women as being more or less comfy asking for what they need? My husband would say I'm an excellent asker - and I would say I'm rather shy about it … and that he's actually better.

Where do you fit in?

Tags: Women's issue, self esteem, self assertion, joy

Comments

[jean]

I'm getting bolder in my asking now that I'm in my early 40's. In fact just a few weeks ago I did a full page journal entry with large "Just Ask" decoratively written many times in large letters all over the page.

Last month, I made the decision to ask for a new car for Mother's Day! Gutsy step for me! Usually I say things like, "I don't really need anything" or "I have everything I need already" or "You don't have to get me anything...really"

This year, I'm different...I've been leaving not-so-subtle hints around the house (like photos of me and my dream car on the computer desktop, printouts of the car info with my hubbie's work papers, informing the two teens how much it would help make our life easier). Just to be sure that this is the car I really want, I took it for a test drive last week. And yes, I really do want it! It's a Subaru Outback Wagon...and the price I came home with ended up being $7,000 LESS than I was anticipating :)

We'll see if it 'magically' appears in the driveway for Mother's Day, but even if it doesn't, I've had a lot of fun and a lot of laughs using my creativity to ask for what I really want (and what our car-sharing family really needs, as well). Bottom line...if it's not in the driveway this Sunday, it will be by the following Sunday!!

Peace,
Jean

[Erica]

I learned years ago to ask for what I wanted or needed. Mainly at Christmas, tho. Many years ago, I finally got up the courage to tell my father-in-law and his girlfriend that I really would love to have some kitchen things, and got waaaay more than I was expecting. This, after receiving a bottle of 'Charlie' cologne for 2 years straight! (I don't wear cologne, & I couldn't stand the stuff)

I'm still asking for what I want. And I always get it, altho not always in the manner I expect. Sometimes I do forget to ask, tho, and then I wonder why I don't have what I want.

Holding the Light,

Erica

[Jean]

I just had to comment on my last comment here...
Though I didn't get that Subaru I wanted for Mother's Day, I DID get it the day BEFORE Mother's Day! Boy, am I glad I asked!!