While leading our Writer's Spa in Taos, New Mexico, a few years ago I got a powerful reminder of the importance of being vulnerable.
Your vulnerability...that wormy, queasy, little child feeling you get when you're stepping into rich, new territory, is your sign that you are, indeed, pursuing your dreams as you must. It's the emotional jolt that suddenly puts you in touch with all kinds of humiliating stuff from your past. Your vulnerability makes you feel just plain dumb, and full of doubt. What if the all-knowing "they" discover what a miserable fake you are? What if you stumble or make a mistake? What if your endeavor does not turn out perfectly? Well. What if? Your vulnerability is like a well full of pain and fear. It runs cool and deep with all the emotions of your accumulated experience through life. Yet, these are sacred waters. Drink from them, and you'll get in touch with valuable ideas and emotions that can inform your creative work. Sip them from time to time, and you'll stay honest and authentic in your self-expression. Turn to antiseptic bottled water, on the other hand, and you'll lose that achingly perfect, universal tug that can move people to tears. There is no substitute in self-expression for the God's honest truth. Your well of pain, aka your vulnerability, is the source of all that is truly human and wonderful about your work. And it will elevate your work from just plain competent to brilliant, if you have the courage such truth-telling demands. Now this does not mean you have to wallow in old painful chapters of your past for days on end. Nor do you have to go around "suffering for your craft" to make it valid. My Writer's Spa co-leader, Jennifer Louden, recommends pulling up those memories by the dipperful -- just enough to refresh and inspire you, without pushing you into a dark emotional funk that seems to have no return. Why not use the next two weeks to stoke up your courage, and bring the true you out into the light? This may mean trying something you've been aching to do for ages, but somehow "just can't get to". It may mean submitting your creative work for professional review, or making tough cold calls to expand your reach. It may mean asking for something you need you've been afraid to request. It may even mean sitting down to write/paint/create something emotionally wrenching because you know you simply must. Whatever task you choose, remember that this leap of faith will serve you in the long run. Feeling stupid really is good, because if nothing else, you will grow like a hollyhock, strong in the sun. Please go forth and take the plunge. Allow yourself to feel stupid! I know you'll be glad you did. My heart is with you, Suzanne
If you've taken this ezine for a while, this is not the first time I've gotten on my podium about vulnerability, but bear with me. I have some new, deeper insights to share.
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