Blast O' Joy

My Annual Spring Ritual

Now that spring has finally come to the Adirondacks (though it did snow the other night!) … I've been back to running outside. All winter long I pound away on a treadmill in front of the Food Network. Me and Gianna. Me and Tyler. Me and the Barefoot Contessa. I get to burn calories and consume them vicariously instead!

Then comes spring and our annual family ritual to run some 5K races together. The children, who are 11 and 16, really look forward to this - and so I'm forced off of my treadmill and out into the actual roads of our town to start taking on the real hills, facing the wind, and feeling a host of new discomforts.

This year I started prepping early and got myself up to 4.4 miles, the equivalent of the Champlain Classic, the 5K run we will do on Sunday. It's really a push for me to go past 3.5 miles, but on this one day last week, I just decided to go for it. Could I turn my chattering mind off long enough to really run this distance?

My body is in good shape and certainly capable; that I knew. But my innate laziness wasn't so convinced this was possible or even necessary. Still I bravely punched 50 minutes into the treadmill time clock and set off to prove myself right … or wrong.

At the three mile mark, I could feel myself tensing up and resisting the rest of my run. Would I break through? Or could I? Or would this just be a small exercise in torture. Fortunately, Gianna was making chocolate tiramisu so I was gloriously distracted.

At the four mile mark I suddenly looked down and realized I was and had been in the runner's 'zone'…. A place where you don't really feel like you're running. Instead, you're just moving rhythmically and there's no good reason to stop. Still there I was running a ten minute mile, which for me is the stuff of true breakthroughs.

I stopped, almost reluctantly, at 4.4, so aware that the only reason I didn't usually run that far was my busy mind. Man, what a liberating new awareness… I'm not as lazy as I always thought I was! It was just a matter of believing it.

How about you?

Tags: running, breakthroughs, coaching breakthroughs

Create a Dream Binder for Someone You Love or Yourself, Part II

So … now are you ready to set up your own Dream Binder? (See yesterday's post to learn what that is.) It's easy and extremely fun - and it can be as elaborate as you want, or as simple as time will allow. Here's what you'll need:

You'll need a binder with a clear sleeve on the front for inserting cover art, dividers, 3-hole punched paper, loose leaf or filler paper, and access to the Internet.

Just to make it really easy for you, I've also put together a free download of Dream Binder workbook pages you can print out and use in your binders. They include exercises, questionnaires, and some helpful general articles on dream pursuit. (When you download it, you'll also get access to my free, award-winning ezine, The Joy Letter.)

Then print them out on 3-hole paper and pop them in the binder. The cover art I created is only a suggestion - feel fr.ee to make your own very personal image for the recipient.)

How to Make It:

When you sit down to make your Dream Binder, take a blank piece of paper and ask yourself just what your friend's dream should have in it. Let your mind wander deliciously, and capture all the inspirations that come up. Then get on the Web and start surfing - I promise you all the information you're looking for is out there.

You can make your Dream Binder as simple or as complicated as you like. Divide it up into sections that seem most useful for the recipient.

Include web sites, product or site reviews, free software URL's, and just about anything else you can think of. You can even give them gift certificates to helpful subscription services or retailers who sell dream-related products, if you want to add monetary value to this gift

Also look for
" Inspirational biographies
" Stories of others who've succeeded in the field your friend wishes to go into
" Helpful contacts
" Could be names/addresses/etc. from anyone you can find in their dream field who might serve as mentor, or even cold contacts you don't personally know.
" Notes or messages from supportive friends/family
" Free articles
" Great books/programs/tools

Are there helpful books that have good reviews that might somehow assist them? Think not only of technical books from experts in their field, but general dream books like my own, Living Your Joy.

Give the gift that really DOES keep on giving? Let someone you love (yes, that can include yourself) know that their dream matters and that you believe in them completely. You'll be so very glad you did.

Let the dreams begin!

Create a Dream Binder for Someone You Love or Yourself, Part I

Recently, I came up with a big idea: creating a binder of goodies that supports the dream of someone you love. I'm all for homemade gifts… and letting a friend or family member know their dream is supported is just about the best gift anyone can give. (Think Graduation, Mother's Day, birthday … or just make one for that other best friend - yourself!)

Here's an example.

My daughter Teal has a big dream of being a country singer. Teal has a great voice and has been performing pretty much non-stop since she was about 6. And she spends a considerable amount of time every day simply singing … sometimes for hours at a time. So for her 15th birthday, I made her a Dream Binder.

A Dream Binder is a great big book of support for any dream. Teal's Binder included photos of her favorite country singers and stories of how they got discovered. Plus I included information on contests, contacts at local radio stations, inspirational quotes for down days, helpful Web resources, and worksheets on things like keeping track of key contacts and planning next steps.

Her Dad, her brother, her godmother, her friends and I also added fun, mushy letters of support for her dream. And they also added more elements of their own, so the Dream Binder became a family effort.

What's really great about these Binders is that you only start them. The recipient then takes the binder and can keep on adding lots of support pieces as his or her dream builds steam. (Hence the need for loose leaf in the back.)

So who do you know whose dream needs a boost… beginning with you? I invite you to make lots of dream binders and share them with your fellow dreamers. They're easy and truly fun to make.

I'll post more tomorrow on just what the dream binder should include. If you'd like a template to work with, drop by my website and pick up your own copy of my Create Your Own Dream Binder kit. (You'll also get my excellent ezine, The Joy Letter, too.) It's all free … and it's all good.

How I Unwind and Lose My Stress

As I delve deeper and deeper into this journey to move people to express themselves, I seem to have a tighter and tighter knot of thought and worry in my gut. I can feel it when I meditate; I can feel it creeping up on me in the middle of the night.

So I've taken aggressive measures to keep the stress beast at bay. I've been down the stress-induced illness road once already in life and I'm not interested in going there again.

So for those who might be trying cram a lot in, here are a few tips on how to unwind totally and completely:

1. The hot bath. For me, this is nirvana. Sometimes I even indulgently take two in one day if I'm really going at full tilt - and this picture is the general idea. (That's not me by the way. :) If I want to go really wild, I light some candles. And I always turn off the phone, shut down my email, and close the door to my office. That feels gooooooood. I also use Zum Bars, really indulgent soaps made out of goat's milk that I buy through my health food store that smell UNBELIEVABLY good. They're also sold online.

2. Candles. As demonstrated in the picture above, there's something inherently healing about candles. My favorites come from Zena Moon, a handmade candle company in Washington State run by the highly creative Carla Blazek (I love this woman!) Carla made a special candle for me that's shown here - my Coming Out of Hiding Candle. It smells like freesia and mint and it gives me power… I burn it all day long at my computer. Other favorites are 'Screw Perfection' and sex-o-rama (!) Then there's 'Little Miss Pissy Pants' in sage and pomegranate. Nothing like an irreverent, totally fun candle to light your mood. I burn 'em anywhere I need the recharge.

3. Regular Massages. I've fought this notion for years, feeling that a regular massage is way too indulgent. But I'm seeing what it cost me. (My previously mentioned stress-related illness could have been entirely avoided with regular massage.) So I see Courtney, the local masseuse, every three weeks … and it makes a major difference.

4. Mental Training. There are lots of ways to get our roving minds under control. I'm doing Dr. Jill Ammon-Wexler's Millionaire Mindset training right now, and it's forcing me to spend enough time in 'alpha' state that I can feel myself re-grounding and getting into a more creative, relaxed frame of mind in general. To learn more about mental retraining, take a listen to an interview I did with Dr. Jill recently about brain states.

5. A Good Sweaty Work Out. There is simply nothing that takes me back to zero faster … so I save this for my end-of-day meltdown. It's a lot more effective than a glass of wine, once you get going with a regular program. And it's a whole lot healthier. I have energy that I haven't had for twenty years because I'm doing three sweaty 45-minute workouts per week, plus attending a single Bikram yoga class per week. (That's a MAJOR sweat-fest.) Added perc: Once you get home .. if you still want that glass of wine, you can REALLY justify it!

That's it for now. How to you lose your stress?

How to build a better fire

Every night after almost eight or nine hours pouring over a hot computer, I need a little therapy … something to push the reset button. And I realized last night, as I curled up for yet another night in front of the fire, that this was it.

Larry (my husband), a crackling fire, a kid quietly doing his Sudoku puzzle and maybe a glass of wine. What could be better?

Here are tips I've gleaned from about 30 years of random fire building (I even had a fireplace in my room at Wellesley where I was the resident firebug.)

1. Use a grate and wad up about 4 or 5 pieces of newspaper under it to get the fire going.
2. Next layer above the grate is small to mid-size kindling
3. On top of that consider a teepee style pile of logs (like this pic.) A Scotsman taught me this trick … and it works well with old 'Rumford' style fireplaces like ours - tall, shallow firebox with tapered sides
4. Let enough ash accumulate so a good pile sits right under it with no more than one inch of air between the ask and the bottom of the grate.
5. Make sure you've got the flu open before you light <grin>
6. When the fire burns down, scrape down loose coals from the logs
7. Keep wood at room temp for at least 24 hours before you burn

Let 'er rip … and do keep a firescreen up, will you?

How I spent last Friday

Lately, we've been observing the law of Sharpening the Saw around the Joy camp. Just about every member of my team takes one day off during the work week and makes that time just for them. Some of us use it to catch up and get control of the office - I use mine to get out of my office and sit in Speeder & Earl's, an Internet café in Burlington and write. Then I go do some hot yoga at the place across the street. I also visit dentists, get oil changes, and take care of other 'life stuff.'

Like making tiramisu. I made this in prep for my first dinner guests in … well, about six months. Hubby and I suddenly realized we were turning into total hermits, and why? Because I was refusing to do anything but work.

That's officially over. I'm back to living a balanced life. And happily, that includes whipping up glorious, fattening desserts like this one. Because you can't live on toast and good intentions all the time, now can you?

What I Learned from ‘American Idol’

First of all, let’s just get this out on the table – my favorite ‘American Idol’ singers are Taylor Hicks (the gray-haired, blues-singing guy) and Paris Bennett, the very incredible 17-year-old African-American singer from Georgia.

Now … let’s analyze why I like them.

I’m a newbie to American Idol – it’s something my kids have gotten me into, but boy … a LOT can be learned here about the creative process and the art of passing muster. Not only are you dealing with Simon Cowell’s scowling countenance all the time … only those who are self-possessed, fairly real and really relaxed seem to make it into the final rounds.

These are the people who ‘have it going on’ – they know their job, they know they’re good, and they’re not waiting for the judges to validate them. Best of all, they’re having fun. And that all springs from passion for your craft.

I love these two singers because they’re genuinely passionate about what they do. When Taylor Hicks came in to see the judges to find out if he made it onto the show, he was playing his harmonica. Just for love of being there, and taking the long stroll down to their table, he played the blues all the way. This guy is full of joy whether he makes it to the final round or not … and he’s certainly not going to stop, regardless of whether he wins. Frankly, if I was an A&R person with a major label, I’d already be talking to this guy about signing. He’s just got that unique, amazing … something. (I love that he says on his page that he’ll go back to being a ‘broke performer’ after the AI whirl ends.)

Same for the fabulous Paris Bennett. This girl is just 100% about delivering her gift. Her ritual (according to the American Idol site) is to ‘Pray and ask God to be my words and let Him use me!’. How cool is that? Paris is connected to the music, down to the core of her soul, and it makes us love her.

I’m not forgetting what she did when she passed her original AI audition and got the ‘golden ticket’ to spend the week auditioning in Hollywood (essentially round 2 of the process.) She dropped to her knees in the doorway as she exited, and just began to sob with joy. She’s feeling it … and so can we.

If you haven’t ever checked American Idol out, do … it’s a great lesson in life as a working artist. Who’s your favorite contestant?

Hubby's at MOMA!

OK … I'm gonna bust I'm so proud. My very own husband, Larry Barns, will have some of the still photographs he's taken for Iranian concept artist Shirin Neshat at a show, opening February 26 at New York's Museum of Modern Art.

For about ten years, Larry has accompanied Shirin on the shoots of her abstract and very beautiful fine art videos to places like Turkey, Morrocco and Oaxaca, Mexico. There they create images that accompany her videos, and are sold to collectors. (Museums tend to be the buyers of the videos.) This work has been shown in all the major museums in the world - in fact the image at the left, an early shot Larry did with Shirin, was  on the cover of the program of the Venice Biennale.

The exhibit at MOMA is called 'Without Boundary; 17 Ways of Looking'. The museum website says about it: "The exhibition features the work of artists of diverse backgrounds-Algerian, Egyptian, Indian, Iranian, Iraqi, Lebanese, Pakistani, Palestinian, and Turkish-across a variety of mediums, including painting, sculpture, video, animation, photography, carpet and textile, and comic strips."

Larry thinks this is part of a major global trend in art, and certainly in the US, to become much more international and inclusive. To which I say, thank God someone's being that way! Just what's needed in a time of war, violence, hatred, and a whole lot of other base emotions that make these sad and challenging times.

Long live art as the healing force!

Warm Relief for a Cold, Rainy World

I love soup! And I especially love it when we have a spate of dank, wintery weather up here in the Adirondacks where I live.

Lately, I’ve been getting heavily into curried cream of pumpkin or squash soup – and honestly, it’s SOOOO delicious, I just have to share it here.

What I do is bake some squash, pumpkins or both, until I have several nicely roasted pieces. Adding a touch of butter or maple syrup to the pieces while they bake helps.

Then I scoop out the soft, roasted flesh, and mix it up with some nice chicken broath, a little sautéed shallot (optional) and some salt. I let the mixture simmer for a while, then I add a blop of this wonderful curry paste I have that a company called Patak’s makes.

What’s great about curry paste is that all of the hard work – the simmering of garlic, the claifying of butter, the grinding of spices – is done! You just add the paste and instantly anything gets a nice, mellow curry flavor.

Then I pop my stick blender in the pot, add a long shot of fresh cream from our organic farm coop, and whip the mixture up. And there’s the best damn soup you ever did have.

Mmm-mmm warm and cosy!

Boy v. Guitar: Update

Here’s the latest update on my son Luke’s struggle to do that daily task which feels cumbersome to him: practicing his blue scales and chords on his guitar.

If you recall when I last posted on this, we were at the pleading-balking-wild promises stage of parental attempts at control … and then I got a brainstorm. I sat down with Luke and asked him to really tell me exactly what the problem is with practicing.

‘It’s boring!’ he cried. ‘The same stuff over and over!’ And yes, to some degree that is true, because that’s how your fingers learn to fly along a fret board. YET! It didn’t have to be boring.

I gave Luke permission to do these nimble little exercises while he watches afternoon TV – something that’s been really pretty restricted in our home. And magically, the problem has disappeared.

There might be those who think this TV-as-entertaining-background thinking is wrong, and it probably is to some degree. But what IS working is that Luke is suddenly rounding the corner on his playing so he feels more confident and it sounds a lot better. And that’s when guitar is fun enough that you actually feel like practicing.

I invite you to look at what you avoid doing for your art, and how you can make it more fun for yourself.